Pai Day 2: Feeling rebellious on two wheels.

Oh dear, my plans to get up early and explore in the cool morning did not happen.

Woke up at 9.30.

My first aim was to seek out some Anglo-breakfast. My Eggs and Beans on Toast was good, except for the lettuce. Some Thai additions to Western food mystify me.

Now it was time to rent a moped, but I’d managed to leave my passport in my locker so I had a very disgruntled and hot stomp across town to fetch it. I used my frustration to justify an iced mocha on the way back. Cheeky coffee, check.

Now back to the renting of the moped.

If someone told me when I was in my teenage years that I would one day even consider riding a moped, I would have laughed at them. I was vehemently against them; they were dangerous, looked precarious, and the idea of riding one scared me.

However, a lot has changed in the last few years. I can ride a bike on the streets of busy Oxford, and learnt to drive a car last month back in the UK. A moped is a combination of the two skills. Learning is further made easy by the sleepy roads and the large number of other inexperienced drivers on the road. Traffic knows to give farang on two wheel a wide berth, which was initially very much appreciated.

This little green babe had the honour of taking my moped virginity.

My first attempt was not the best; I almost smashed into the front of a minibus parking up in front of me. The motorbike mechanic quickly took the bike off me, and moved it (and me) away from any more obstacles.

Mostly obstacle free at least. I saw the Chinese tourists less as obstacles than targets ;)

On my second attempt, I managed to stay upright and moving, albeit with a lot of revving as I kept releasing too much of the throttle.

My first left hand turn was very wide, very slow, and I had one foot on the floor.

But like anything, practise makes perfect, and I gradually picked up speed and confidence as I rushed through the beautiful countryside.

Just the roads around Pai were beautiful

Out of town, I encountered these chaps.

I feel the rainbow dragon is Asia's version of the unicorn.

I presume they were decorating the walkway to a nearby wat but I couldn’t see it anywhere nearby and these guys were just too interesting not to photograph.

This could almost be a painting :)

Soon I had reached the first destination I’d marked on my map; Pam Bok Waterfall.

It was really shady and beautiful, nestled in a small canyon dripping with foliage...and water. Everything was damp there, and I swiftly regretted having my laptop on my back. But I had no locker yet at my new hostel, so I had little choice but to lug it around. I am glad for the water resistant case I had bought for it in Bangkok; less for the water falling nearby but for the water soaking through my T-Shirt and backpack.

The very dry, but very beautiful Pam Bok.

I am all about the lens flare - helps to obscure my ugly mug.

It was a pretty sweet waterfall, and I even found somewhere to securely wedge the Chromebook so I could go for a cooling paddle.

Heading on, I managed a few more driving mishaps; my right hand turn back onto the main road was less of a smooth curve, more of a lurch forward across the road, swiftly followed by a tight swerve right to avoid an elderly gentleman on a moped even more decrepit than mine. I subsequently also nearly crashed into a Thai family in a three-wheeler. They found it amusing, probably mostly as I went zig-zaging past them shouting Kab Khun Kraaaap, Thai for ‘Thank you’, as I don’t know Thai for ‘Sorry, I can’t drive!’.

Next was a stop at Love Strawberry Pai. I didn’t know what was there, only that it was included on all the maps and sightseeing itineraries. So I sheeped, I followed the herd, and stopped at what turned out to be a strawberry-themed roadside shop. However, I enjoyed the strawberry theme, and their bottles of pasteurised strawberry juice tasted like liquid home-made strawberry jam.

Love at first Pai-ght.

It may just be my new favourite drink!

After that delicious stop-off, it was off to Pai Canyon. I would not have used the word canyon; it would more accurately be described as a red-dirt, eroding hill. But it produced some pretty pictures once I’d hiked up to it, and the narrowest parts of the ridge were slightly terrifying in places, just because they’d eroded to such a narrow isthmus.

The selfie doesn't give justice to just how narrow that ridge was.

Next up on my route was the Memorial Bridge, which apparently dates to World War II. I had seen some amazing photos of this elegant, wrought-iron bridge, but I couldn’t seem to find the right angle, or the right light. I am quite content to partly blame the approaching thunderstorm for modifying the natural light.

Yeah, that sounds fairly convincing.

Not my best photo...

The aforementioned gathering storm clouds compelled me to start heading back into Pai town, and on my way I spotted a few incongruous shapes up ahead.

Elephants!

Elephants...chained up....on concrete....yay!

There was a stall next to them where you could buy a bunch of bananas for 20B (£0.40) to feed the elephants. I couldn’t resist, and apparently neither could she (the elephant).

Smiling in my ignorance.

I really enjoyed spending 10 minutes feeding and watching these magnificent animals up close. However, I do realise there are ethical issues here, as visible in some of the photographs is the chain that is effectively imprisoning these animals, forcing them to live in a wooden hut with a hard concrete floor, and requiring them to rely on tourists handing them bananas to live. It is not a decent life for an elephant. I must confess that if I had spotted the chains before I stopped, I would not have stopped there at all. But I did, and regardless of my concerns, I did really enjoy spending some time with them.

Seeing them however made me really glad that, two days previous, I was unable to get onto one of the elephant riding trips ran by Thom’s Elephant Camp. I had read good things about the company, and really liked the idea of observing, riding and playing with their elephants. However, just down the road from these particular elephants were those of Thom’s camp; they lived in identical circumstances. Concrete compounds set up by the main road to tempt passing tourists to help fund their food bill. I am very glad I did not spend c.1500B (£30) encouraging Thom&co. to continue exploiting elephants, and spent my day instead exploring Pai's surroundings.

Beautiful Pai!

Such a nice place just to explore independently.

At times, misfortune can be a blessing.

Disregarding my pachydermic regrets, I continue scooting through the woods, fields and settlements surrounding Pai until I found myself speeding over a bridge and into Pai proper. Laundry collected, and shampoo bought, I spent the remainder of the afternoon editing photos and napping with a beer at my new hostel I had moved to that morning; the Purple Monkey. It’s a fairly laid-back place, complete with effortlessly chill tunes, a decent bar propped up and supported, both metaphorically and financially, by a drunken crew of expats, and a pack of friendly if independently-minded dogs. It would not have been out of place on a tropical beach.

The best hostel so far!

Eventually, I got off my arse, and joined in with a group of travellers drinking roselle...’wine’. I’m unsure what a roselle is, and the best description of the roselle alcohol was sangria if it were made by a local Chinese takeaway. It’s an odd comparison I grant you, but there was mutual agreement by those present that it fit the bill nicely.

It was about this time when I was introduced by a couple of Californian dudes to a girl who also came from Oxford. I was mildly interested, if only so we could bond over a mutual dislike of Oxford’s taxi drivers, or some such British banter. It turns that Olivia didn’t come from Oxford, but from Banbury, and only lives around a mile away on a neighbouring state.

It really is a small world when you can meet someone from your same small English town 6000 miles away in a Thai mountain town.

By this time, it sounds as if I were say a fair way into a drunken evening. Well, yes, I was fairly drunk. But it was only 7pm. The torrential rain and free Chinese-sangria had rather accelerated our evening, and most of us hadn’t even eaten yet. A bunch of us decided to rectify this, and headed into town to shelter under parasols and drool over streetfood. I decided on a Cheese’n’Beans jacket potato, and then some fried chicken strips. It was all very Thai of course.

Refuelled, we went to the hostel for skishots (shot glasses stuck onto a ski, meaning everyone has to drink at once with some accuracy or have their poison of choice thrown down their tops) and more beer. Then, in my admittedly-tipsy state, I decided to meet up with some Brits I’d met in Chiang Mai who were now in Pai celebrating a birthday.

They were staying in a different hostel around two miles away.

I had my moped parked outside the hostel.

Yes, I admit I drove my moped in the dark, over the alcohol limit, without a helmet. It is not one of my proudest moments, but it was exhilirating, even at the 20km I trundled along at, (just to be safe).

I may be a rebel these days, but I am still a sensible rebel.

This began the start of a night where I acted as everyone’s taxi. First I ferried a drunk Bristolian into town to meet some girls. He did not look pleased when I told him I’d only learnt to drive a moped that night….after I’d already given him a lift. Then I found two British girls I knew arguing on the street who made me give them a lift to 7/11 for booze, and then upon bumping into people from my original hostel, lead a convoy of drunken Canadians, still with the two Brits wedged on my seat, to the only bar left open in town.

Cue more drinking, dancing, and more drunken arguments from the two Brits.

The bar closed at one in the morning, and while I believe there was an after-after-party, I was exhausted, so I drove home and went to sleep in my very cosy twenty-four person dorm.

My treehouse dorm, which was actually nice, if hot, to sleep in.

Goodnight!

DSP