Vientiane: Cafes, Wats & Not Doing A Lot

As I said in a previous blog, Vientiane was a rather unknown quality when I was planning my trip. I knew I had to transit through the city, as all buses in the region start and terminate there. But I also knew there was very few attractions stated in the guide book, and had heard from many people that it was not worth visiting.

Well, perhaps because I had no expectations, and perhaps because it was so different to Vang Vieng where I was previously, I genuinely liked Vientiane, or to give it a more accurate name, Viengkhan. I liked that there was plenty of wats and museums to see and photograph, but nothing unmissable that would make you feel guilty if you instead spent an afternoon in a cafe. It also gave Niko and I our first glimpse of actual local Laos people; people who would talk to you without expecting or demanding money. It was incredibly refreshing after spending eight days on the tourist trail to find ourselves suddenly off it.

The first night, after the disappointment of realising my phone was going to stay broken for a few more days, we did very little other than wander around a little, eat some Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup), and then spend some time internetting in an ice cream parlour along the road. Bliss.

The next day, we got down to business, with Niko seemingly intent on visiting every city attraction in one day. I personally would have preferred a late start with breakfast, then some elevenses, before moving onto a brunch and then lunch. I was having stomach troubles, and therefore was constantly hungry. But nope, we are instead out before 10.00am into the hot, humidity looking at yet more wats.

Damn you Niko, I was lazy before you came along.

First up was Wat Mixay, where...’thar be dragons’

I particularly liked the blue here.

Then there was Wat Ong Teu, where my boredom was really getting the better of me, as I forgot to photograph the sim but did fixate on some naga scales.

I had really seen too many wats...

Sadly, next up was Wat Hai Sok, where again my attention wondered, but did produce some interesting photos.

More dragons.

Again, pictures of the sim were forgotten. I’m reasoning you’ve probably seen enough by now anyway.

Then we moved onto the National Museum of Laos, which was more amusing than educational, but still worth a visit without a doubt, and is the subject of the previous blog.

Go on, check it out, this blog will still be here when you’re done ;)

Add caption

By this point, I was hot and my behaviour was fairly similar to that of a five year old petulant toddler. So we took refuge in a cafe for an hour before heading on. I had bagels and soup. It was good. So I ordered more bagels and more soup. It was still good.

I briefly spotted the Patuxai victory monument from afar, but did never make it to see the monument up close.

Niko visited it the following day, and said up close it was an overpriced, crumbling wreck, so no loss there.

From this viewpoint, it was on to Wat Sisaket, which I had planned to be equally dismissive of, due to temple fatigue and general grumpy toddler-ness.

However, I had to admit this wat was a little more special than the others..

The most striking features were under the eaves of the roofed cloisters, where there sat in the stillness and dust dozens and dozens of Buddha images in seated rows. Mounted behind them in small alcoves in the walls sat pairs of miniature images, their bronze and gold features glowing in the dull light. It was another of those places where, upon seeing these many hundreds of serene faces benignly smiling down upon you, I felt an immediate sensation of peace and tranquility.

Buddhist temples may yet make a theist out of me…

After exploring this beautiful temple, we decided that we couldn’t face anymore walking around in the heat, so we crossed our fingers and bargained with a tuk-tuk to take us the several kilometres to our final city attraction; Wat That Luang.

Wat That Luang was...big and gold. There is not much more to say. We saw it from the outside, and it was big, gold and pointy, and when we paid to go inside the temple grounds, it was...equally big, gold and pointy.

Outside of the chedi complex, there was a wizard on a podium; we never did find out who he was…

After a full day of exploring, I retreated back to the hostel, and did very little with my evening, except when I briefly left to buy overpriced sushi. Yummy.

...

The following day, I had seen and done enough, so I decided to have a day off from travelling whilst Niko explored the Buddha Park by himself.

I started my day in the early afternoon with this:

After a few hours of internetting and napping, my day continued with this:

And then for pudding, this:

In the evening, we headed out for drinks, having bumped into our friend Laura from Luang Prabang, and I had this:

It was a good day, and whilst I felt bad at the time, I believe every long term traveller needs the occasional day off when they don’t have to haggle with recalcitrant tuk-tuk drivers, and don’t have to withstand the heat and humidity that hangs in the area in temples and museums. Everyone needs a lazy day occasionally :)

DSP

Vientaine: Laos' not-so-Laos-y National Museum

Vientiane, the capital of Laos, was not what I had expected. Everyone I had talked to whilst in Laos told us we should skip the city, as there was nothing to do, and nothing to see, and that it was just a boring city. Even my Rough Guide was fairly despondent about the city, and resorted in the list of attractions to describing mediocre parks and fountains, before quickly moving onto to more exciting destinations.

However, I found this much maligned city surprisingly pleasant. Perhaps it was that I had missed effective internet access and some home comforts only available in a decent-sized city, or perhaps it was nice to escape to somewhere which wasn’t focused on ripping off tourists, but I really enjoyed my time in Vientiane.

I will summarise my comings and goings in the city in a later blog; in this entry, I wanted to focus on one of my favourite attractions in the city: the Laos National Museum.

Despite reading History at university, I am not a great fan of visiting museums whilst travelling. I realise I am spoilt by the high-quality, free museums that I can visit back at home in Oxford and London, but I also don’t want to spend my precious days travelling standing around inside a stale museum learning about things I could more efficiently learn whilst on long bus or train rides from a guide book. However, I had read reviews and descriptions that made me think that Laos’ national museum might be worth the visit.

It started off innocently enough with Laos’ prehistory, which also gave us a chance to learn about the famous ‘Jar’ culture we had wanted to see first hand in Phonsavan, but which we had decided was not worth an eight-hour bus journey in each direction.

What you can't see is that the jar is full of money thrown in by visitors.

The prehistory ground floor of the museum was actually fairly detailed and interesting, perhaps partly because much of the archaeology and collation had been done by a joint-Swedish-Laos team. Certainly, my inner historian enjoyed it.

But the museum’s real attraction was the first floor, which was devoted to modern Laotian history, and more importantly the Laotian struggle for independence and socialist revolution. Perhaps here it would be helpful to give the country’s full name: The People’s Democratic Republic of Laos. Laos remains one of the last officially-communist states in the world, and most towns and villages have at least one communist flag fluttering somewhere.

I feel that this could be the name of a song. It would have a gospel choir, and clapping, and an-over-the-hill pop star.

It started fairly well, with a display of the different cultural heritages of the peoples that now inhabit Laos. Think crumpled ‘tribal’ outfits, and a hallway full of drums.

Then of course, there was a brief history of Lenin.

The English was not always comprehensible.

And then a bust of Lenin.

What revolutionary museum doesn't have one?

Niko and I were initially mystified by the references everywhere to ‘Mr Kakmak the politician, economy, leadership revolution of international worker’. We first of all thought he must be a Laotian socialist leader, but I had done some research, and couldn’t recall the name. It was only when we found a portrait of him that we realised who they meant.

Mr Kakmak

Karl Marx. Of course.

Then we moved into the sections celebrating the glorious people’s revolutionary movement against the royalist, colonialist (read-American) regime. Strangely there was no mention that one of the communist leaders was a Laotian prince, and relative of the ‘puppet king’. I just love these crazy, propaganda museums.  

Personal highlights include a picture of tribal people undertaking military training.

I really hope these guys with crossbows where not sent against a modern fighting force...

I would note here that they are being equipped with crossbows. And that this picture dates to the early 1970s, where they were fighting against Americans with machine guns, tanks and helicopters….yeah...poor guys.

Then there was the section devoted to Kaysone Phomvihane, the leader of the revolutionary party and later Prime Minister and President of Laos. I particularly liked the fact that they had included and framed his exercise equipment….

Kaysone needed to keep fit...for his ladies...

It was just a brilliantly-horrendous propaganda exhibition, which was very entertaining for a few hours.

I would point out that I am in no way belittling the struggle of the socialists to overthrow what they saw as an American-controlled puppet state. I am more just amused at the museum’s partiality, and in some cases falsity, in reporting the events of the period. I am sure that there was a need for misinformation and lies at the time, but not 40 years after the event when the regime remains firmly in control of the state.

But anyway, brilliant museum that is definitely worth a visit.

Next up, more brilliant attractions in awesome Vientiane.

DSP

Vang Vieng: Hedonistic hell or backpacker paradise?

Vang Vieng, a small, riverside town halfway between Luang Prabang and Vientiane, has a somewhat formidable reputation as a crazy party town. It is somewhere you go and don’t remember what you did. A quick google of the town’s name will pull up reports and new stories of tourists dying in double-digit numbers annually. Then these are followed by reports of the Laotian government bulldozing the riverside bars, and the town as a result being a ghost town. When reviewed by fellow travellers, everyone either raves about what a ‘blast’ they had, or they hate it from the moment they step off the bus.

It was a town I was eager to see for myself.

It certainly has the looks.

In my last blog, I recounted how I went tubing and loved it, but even whilst tubing, the fun was soured by the attitude of locals towards tourists.

That experience is roughly analagous to my experiences in Vang Vieng as a whole. It is a beautiful, fascinating little town, but it is clear that some of the locals resent what their town has become, and all of them seem to see tourists not as fellow humans but as money bags to be squeezed.

The villagers do have some right to feel the way they feel. They have watched their town change from a sleepy, provincial town into a tourist mecca. Everyday, they have to deal with drunk, obnoxious backpackers dressing inappropriately; leaving rubbish everywhere; vomiting in the street; and treating the locals as mere staff. Is it little wonder that the locals are far from welcome when the main street in Vang Vieng has been degraded and turned into a row of souvenir shops, sexy massage parlours, and restaurants screening endless loops of Friends re-runs.

Vang Vieng at times feels almost sad because of what has happened to it, and it is used as an example across South East Asia of how not to embrace tourism.

My experiences of the town were definitely mixed.

My first impression was decidedly not favourable when I found out that the bus from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng, a 4-5h journey, that cost me 120000K (£10). For that money, I have just bought a ticket for an overnight, twelve hour sleeper train taking me 651km across Thailand. The return trip to Luang Prabang cost only 50000K. Annoying.

Conversely we got a brilliant deal on the private twin room Niko and I stayed in. 40000K (£3.20) each for a big room with AC and a balcony. Amazing.

I strangely liked the town itself. It had a slightly dystopian feel, and because of the low season, it felt lonely and a little sad in places.

There were of course the famous restaurants playing Friends on repeat to seemingly permanent denizens lolling on cushions and mats. It should have been depressing, but I actually enjoyed spending a couple of hours at one of these restaurants. I got zero blogging done, but I hadn’t seen Friends for years, and enjoyed the blast-from-what-is-now-a-long-way-in-the-past.

You can just see Friends on the TV screens.

On my first afternoon in the town, after my sejourn at the Friends restaurant, Niko and I did some exploring of the town. There were a lot of food stalls, a lot of empty bars, and a lot of souvenir stalls. Standard tourist fare. We were both in search of a barber, which we fully found. Niko needed hair removing from the side of his head, and I needed a shave. Again, there were language barriers, so I had to have all the hair removed, and then I must have agreed to the wrong thing, because I ended up with my face being shampoo’d, and then massaged. I was in a complete state of blind bewilderment with the sound of Niko sniggering in the background.

I am never letting a teenager near my face with a blade again!

That evening we found a restaurant near the hostel, and had some acceptable tom sam. Only acceptable though. Laos can’t make papaya salad to save its life. After food, we headed to a bar where we were offered and declined the drug menu, and only then offered the drinks menu. We stuck to discounted mojitos, gave up trying to make friends with some guys from our hostel, and headed back to the hostel.

The sunset in Vang Vieng.

The following day was taken with tubing, which was again a mixed bag but overall a good experience, which I think can be a summary of Vang Vieng. A mixed bag, and not as easily lovable as Luang Prabang, but still overall somewhere I was glad I visited.

Well...that was until our final morning in Vang Vieng, when this happened…

Picture is awful, but it should show a cracked phone screen.

But that’s a story for the next blog.

DSP




Useful Information:
Accomodation: We stayed at Easy Go Guesthouse. It has some terrible reviews, but our room in the new block was brilliant. Private rooms with AC cost 80000K per night.
Barber: If you want to be scalped by someone half your age, the barber stop is on the N-S road running through the town, across the road from Wat That.

Vang Vieng: Tubes, Torrential Rain and Too-Much-Alcohol

Short one today...it’s 1.30am and I should sleep sometime soon as I have a train at 09.20.

...oops never wrote it, overslept, missed train anyway...oops...

So whilst travelling in Laos, I ended up at a small, riverine town called Vang Vieng. I’ll say more about the town itself in a later blog; what I want to talk about now is the town’s most famous attraction; tubing on the nearby Nam Xong river. Well, I say tubing, the town is actually famous for the hedonistic bars you visit whilst tubing.

Now, normally all this fun wouldn’t be my scene at all. But, I felt that I would be letting my few readers down if I couldn’t describe in intricate, drunken detail what tubing is like.

I am doing this for you all.

Definitely not for me.

Definitely.

I decided to start the day with a breakfast fitting for the trials facing me.

This was only part of it - fruit & cereal came after.

We had planned to do the Blue Lagoon in the morning, but my stomach had other ideas, and so I decided we should just get on with tubing earlier, staying at or near bars where there amenities if I needed them.

Also, alcohol totally cures stomach bugs right? The vodka kills all the germs….definitely.

Before we headed out tubing, we headed back to the hostel to leave behind everything non-essential to tubing and drinking. The phone and wallet were left behind, to be replaced by my old camera and a waterproof pouch stuffed with a few monopoly notes of Laotian kip.

Divested of anything that could be damaged by river water, we headed down to the tube rental office on the main street of Vang Vieng, and waited our turn in the queue to pay for our tubes. Ahead were some really, really obnoxious Spaniards who seem to be intent on asking annoying, impertinent questions to the staff. It’s little wonder the staff seem intent on ripping off travellers when that’s what they have to deal with.

Having signed my life away on a quite extensive tube rental agreement (seriously, renting a moped was less paperwork), we hoped on the back of a tuk-tuk, and headed 20 minutes upriver to the first bar on the route that day, where we were greeted by a free shot of lao-lao (local whisky) and a string bracelet (which I presumed they used to work out who had received free shots). It was off to a good start.

Sadly, we were swiftly dismayed to realise we were one of the first groups to arrive. We had got there at about 11.30am, and swiftly realised that for the majority of backpackers, many of which had probably spent the previous day and night drinking, this was far too early. We settled down with a cheeky early drink and admired the scenery whilst we waited for the bar to fill up.

Waiting for chaos.

You can understand why the original tubers came here.

After a drink or two, and a brief run back to the hostel to pick up more money (alcohol is of course overpriced at the tubing bars; bring enough money to allow for this!), the bar was filling up nicely, and the drinking games began. Niko and I decided to stay out of the one pictured below, as we did not feel like being hit by water balloons or having alcohol poured over us. We obviously just were not drunk enough…

Didn't look that fun.

Eventually we decided we should perhaps move on, so we went to find our tubes.

Wait…

Which tube??? tubes? SO MANY TUBES!!!!

We never did find our tubes; we were just told to grab any so we rummaged through and took two of the least deflated, and walked down to the river. To avoid the kayakers and the drunk people lounging in the shallows, I ended up standing in some rapids where I could barely keep my tube from floating away. Eventually when I had a grip of tube, camera, money and sunglasses, we were off down the river….for 300 metres before we encountered the next bar.

Kayaking looked too much like exercise.

I felt I needed to try them all out, you know, to blog the best blog I can blog.

Again, we were the first here, so we had more free shots, more bracelets, and more drinks to wait for the crowd to catch up. In the meanwhile, I taught Niko and some girls from our hostel how to play spoof, and gradually the tubes on the dock below mounted, and the bar filled up.

The tube mountain was growing.

Suitably inebriated, we headed onwards to the next bar, where there were more bracelets and shots, and something altogether more fun.

A MUD BATH

So much fun!

After attempting to wash the mud off me (fairly unsuccessfully, as I found mud in my ear about four days later), I rewarded myself for the exercise of climbing, crawling and swimming through mud with a proper Gin & Tonic, where I specified and supervised them pouring actually Gordon’s gin into my glass. I was getting fed up of being served ‘gin’ which is obviously just lao-lao bleached of its shade of light brown.

I enjoyed my G&T dancing to Katy Perry on the bare decking of the club, surrounded by complete strangers who were instantly best friends, overlooking the beautiful river and karst mountain scenery. Oh Laos.

On to Bar no.4. Niko took the opportunity given to him by holding my camera to take some frankly appalling pictures.

I sure he was aiming for awful crotch shots...

Point proved.

Thanks Niko.

I am however glad I let Niko look after my waterproof pouch containing money and camera, as during this stretch of river I managed to lose pretty much everything else.

It started with my sunglasses falling off my head into the water. I tried to rescue them, and in doing so fell off my tube, and ended up being dragged along the river bed, my bottom bumping on the larger stones. I just kept hold of my tube, but in the chaos lost my T-Shirt and my sunscreen as well as the sunglasses which i couldn’t find.

I was having a successful day…

The fourth bar was...messy. I don’t remember exactly what happened; I can only recall vague snippets.

Drunken antics.

At some point the Macarena came on and I taught a group of South Africans what the moves were to the song….

Drunken antics - macarena??? sexy macarena perhaps?

At some point, myself and a German woman called Eve decided we should get married, only for us to want a divorce ten minutes later because I had cheated on her with her mother father grandfather….

Seemingly very sexy macarena.

I don’t really remember what went on.

I was drunk. It was fun. My parents read this blog so I can’t say much more than that.

Eventually it was time to head onto the last bar on the river. By this point, a tropical storm had closed in, and tubing on the river, you could barely breathe through all the rain. I have never been so wet before.

The last bar was a dead flop, and it was raining hard, so we decided to catch a tuk-tuk back into town rather than tube back into town.

The tuk-tuk driver, like all tuk-tuk drivers, was a bastard, and refused to leave without payment in advance.

The reason why he demanded this was evident when we broke down on the outskirts of town.

Conveniently, his friend had a tuk-tuk sat just across the road, and we were all transferred onto this other tuk-tuk and taken the rest of the journey.

We conveniently arrive back at the rental shop just after 6pm, thereby each losing 20000K of our deposit.

It was all very convenient for the rental office. It was yet another example of things in Laos being ‘convenient’ for the local touts and tuk-tuk drivers, and ‘inconvenient’ for travellers.

....

Convenient.

Left with a sour taste in our mouths from that episode, we headed back to the hostel for a much needed shower and rest, before heading out for food. I was sobering up, and fell asleep in the restaurant, only to wake up when my food arrived, and tip boiling hot cheese down my leg.

Smooth.

My leg that is, now I’ve burnt all the hair off.

…

Aside from the few complaints I have about cheese and deposits, it was an absolute brilliant day, and I was sad that I only had chance to do tubing once, as I feel you need a day to make all the rookie errors and work out what is going on. However, despite the bad press, tubing was an absolute blast, and is completely worth the trip to Vang Vieng.

If nothing else, I gained some bracelets for my wrists.

DSP

Useful Information:

• Tube Rental (and transfer to the first bar) costs 50000K, plus a 65000K deposit. You lose 20000K of deposit if you return the tube after 6pm, and after 8/9pm, you lose the entire deposit, making the tube yours.
• Whole setup is designed to ensure you arrive back after 6pm, so just accept you’ll lose that part of deposit.
• There are 5 bars along the river, all within the first kilometre of the river. Those open change day-by-day.
• Tubing does not get busy much before 1pm.
• Everyone always makes the cardinal sin of not bringing enough money. Beers start at around 20000K, and a spirit and mixer 25000-35000K. Don’t just bring a 100000K note and think that will cover it. It will not. You will be sad that by the third bar you are sober because of your poverty.